I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just found puke in my bra..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
