I wish I only lived at night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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