I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't turn off my feet"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
