don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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