I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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