Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize