I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize