just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize