I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
