he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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