xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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