What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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