She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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