So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
