Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i will never coherently bang her
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
