i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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