i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
