I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He kissed a someone with a penis
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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