So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
