pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Text me some of your sweat
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