Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
