No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize