I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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