so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
