I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
