He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
