I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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