So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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