Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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