the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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