I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
