No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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