she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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