The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize