Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
