If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
