Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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