good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
His nipple licking is glorious
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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