So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
