CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
