I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize