Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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