Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
ok first of all what the fuck
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
