Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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