Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
