How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
