So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
