Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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