let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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