When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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