Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize