They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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