So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His hands were made for my vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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