so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
