I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
