grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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