so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
