I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
