just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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