By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
