My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
