I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
