And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
