Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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