he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
