fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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