she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
