Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
