Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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