she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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