already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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