Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
