erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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