this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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