he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
