He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
