I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
