Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
