so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
