I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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