My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
