drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fuck appropriateness.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
