i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
